sit and wait, wait and sit.

in lieu of disaster, I sit and wait.
under the table with my knee's pressed to my chest and my arms wrapped around me.
as if I could ever protect myself.

outside, those not under the table, are silent.
tension filling the air visibly in radioactive waves.
they hit me, and they burn me and I cringe, but they don't stop.

a glass breaks, a slap is heard and cries escapes
and I realize, solely, that the cry was mine.
those radioactive waves keep hitting me, burning me.

I am turning into dust,
right before your very eyes, or maybe not because you can't see me.
but i can see you i can see you i can see you.

as the radioactive waves keep hitting me, I stop cringing,
I let them burn my skin, I let myself melt away.
the last thing I hear is another glass break.

forgetting; forgotten

the waves whisper up to my feet.
slowly they come, as if they don't want to frighten me away;
and they giggle as they touch my skin before they rush back to the sea.

 i wish i could follow them.
quickly i would fly, the water filling my lungs as i floated down;
but i wouldn't be dying, i wouldn't be gone, i would be here and now.

 i can't follow them.
my back is burning from the stare he's giving me from behind;
and i know in that moment that i will never be forgiven.

 and i will never be forgotten.

deathly.

all sounds went away-
a dull silence encompassing her being as time slowed right before her eyes.
the sound of her heart faded and her breathing stopped;
all while she remained eerily concious.

her throat constricted and the bubble of life shrank until it was plastered onto her own skin.
desperately she drew forth breath, her lungs expanding,
her heart pounding,
and the world painted itself back in color again.

But she would never forget that Death sat on her head.

morte.

barb wire and confetti cakes,
twisted tunnels and twisted minds(MINES);
wanderlust, don't fall away
to nothing nothing nothingness
or even worse;
into suffering
the
unfaltering
SOMETHING.

SKY.

I once heard the sky holds all of our deepest memories.
That's why the dark comes, from all of the tainted memories the sky holds -
all of the darkness that emcompasses the human soul
is cast up to the sky.

I used to cast my dreams and worries to the sky;
when it would rain, I would cry
and when it was sunny, I would laugh with the other children,
clad in white dresses and flowers in our hair, giddy
with the intoxication of youth.

I could never understand why the rain would fall on days
when I would be dancing by the fire, with ruby red lips.
I could never understand why a cold gust would come when,
in that moment, my soul was so warm with joy.

As I grew older, I stopped casting my dreams to the sky;
as I grew older I stayed inside, no more flowers in my hair,
no more laughter with my friends,
no more dancing by the fire;

because I didn't trust the sky;
because I don't trust the memories.

far away, gone astray.

I cast my dreams out to the sea
and watch them fall so far from me.
I sing a song into the sky
and let it drift away so high.
I dug a hole to bury those
aspirations that ever gave me hope.
Underneathe,
on my knee's,
I try to dig them up.

Unfinished. Drowning, not dying. Not swimming, not floating. Drifting underneath the water where the waves cannot reach me. Hello, blog. I have missed you dearly.